["For A Pessmistic, I'm Pretty Optimistic" By: Paramore]

Ever since high school...
I've been on this insane mission to figure myself out.
And with every step i'm slowly getting closer to my goal.

But just because i can figure myself out, doesn't mean i'm trying to change myself for my benefit.
You can ask any professional that knows a little something about the human mind, and i bet he'll tell you that hating yourself is not advisable.
*shrugs*

Being a teenager is actually a tough job,
with all of this responsabilty that people throw at you, and your parents random actions that are also tossed around like a hot potatoe.
The people you come in contact with that can just turn the world as you know it upside down.
And all of the life lessons that come with being an adolesence.

I'm Slowly getting everything i need in my head to survive in the "real" world.

I'm the kid who doesnt do sneaking out, I'm the anti-social kid, Never tried any drugs or alcohol, I go to school, not to do homework, but just to learn about everything, I don't have too many friends, but then again, i don't really want a ton of friends, I'd like to think i take in every second, but i know what i'm really doing is getting ready for ahead, I'm the think-ahead kind of kid, who is always prepared for the future with what i have in my surrondings, I only treat others the way i would like to be treated, I've never done homework in my life, I would like to think I'm very mature for my age, I think things through, and while most teenage guys at my age, just want to get into fights, its like they don't comprehend that getting hurt back is part of the process, *shrugs* maybe its just me, but i'm not a pain junkie.

I'm the kid that doesn't do any work, doesn't mean i make straight A's, cause i don't, but i do learn, i know a whole ton more than any of the other kids in the classroom, who just sit around and pretend that they're bored to be the "cool" kids on the block.

I'm the kid who sits in the front of the class, to draw a picture.
I'm not a fan of the other kids, so the front is the best place to be away from them, you stick 15 kids in a small room, and make them sit for an hour and a half, they get antsy, so they try to talk to you, and if your the kind of person who doesn't like talking... this causes a problem which has to be terminated with only the most aggressiveness thats possible from one's own physical being.

I'm the kid who wears jeans everyday, because just incase the world ends, and running from something is involved, i'm prepared for it. While the only thing shorts are good for is slow you down as you feel every long blade of grass rub against your bare legs.

I'm also the kid who blames everything that goes on in his life, on himself.
If i'm unhappy, its because i put myself in that position.
Being the oldest of 2 siblings, from divorced parents, My sister and I have absolutely no desire to be in each other's life. Which is fine by my part, I wasn't born to help the waist.
Its true, you know strongest what no one taught you.
If they got that low, they can get back up.
life really is for the strong, not necessarly survival of the fitess.
But for those who are stronger willed.

such as druggies, I'm assuming that every drug nut knows what the consequences are by partaking in that particular drug, so why put your body through more strain than it was born to take on?
thats just stupidity to me.

If you want to feel good, go watch a comedy.
Listen to some music.
Draw a picture.
Excerise.
Find something that will make you feel good.
think possitivity.
not negativity.

Funny how i dish out advice, and i'm the one who hates myself.
*shrugs*
I make a lot of mistakes, and a lot of them were stupid.
and stupid isn't good enough.
It takes a toll to be someone like me.

and the responsiblity?
Everything thats in my room.
I own.
My clothes, The computer i'm typing on, the internet that flows through its core, the music i'm listening to, the bed i lay to sleep in, the books on the shelf, the games on the floor, the tv on the dresser, the guitar and keyboard.
were all purchased with the money that i've earned.

An I-pod is my next purchase.
My current Mp3 player is eating batteries like a mule.
and its a costly bill to pay for.
I-pods don't use batteries.
so everything is going to be alright.
and music will still be portable.

and women...?
I guess i'll save it for another time.
But the day will come.
Beware.
I warned you all.

And there you go.
Me venting.
Happy Birthday Dad.